Wot Have i Got? better than him..??

i felt i needed a friend to talk to. the problem was it was suddenly in short supply. so i turn to this gibberishly page of mine to let out this cold feelin. i dont remember being on a scooter... i stopped and i'm crying. crying for the situation i put meself in.. crying for me and maybe for her. i've never had someone looked at me that way before.. and believe me i had looks that kill.
next time think b4 proceeding with that choice i made, and now i deserved it. AGAIN!!!!! sish.. if i was to tell myself i missed her, yeah i do. She's pretty damn happy with her life now. So who'se the looser again... moi! moi! moi! i never had the chance of feeling a proper happiness i guess. Now m typing this just to let this out of me chest.
At first i was really really deeply dissapointed of what had happened... check this out. who could expect to wait for quite sometime.. but then u get to know sumtin that happens behind ur back?? i bet some guys out there would kick and smack the face off that women. in fact luckily i am not one of those guys.
when that happened, it all came down like "u ran over 70km of ridin scooter to a car!!!!" believe me i tell ya that. ur blood shoots right up ya head they say it it malay.
All i was going to ask her and i really would like to know " wot's he got better than me!!??? "
i repeat...
WOT'S HE GOT BETTER THAN ME!!!!
PLEASE TELL ME!! I'D LIKE TO KNOW!!!
WOT'S HE GOT BETTER THAN ME!!!!!!!
pure silence... as i heard over the phone it was her dinner time with her family. she didnt say a thing. i felt like a dead corpse.
and the rest was history.....
to sum up this post, i am abit relieved that m able to type it out.. it has been stuck here ever since...
"he was just a friend" imagine a women like her tellin u that sentence. i've got to admit...i did'nt see it coming. she caught me off guard alright!
you (whoever reading this garbish stuff) even you sumtime couldnt tell whether someone that u have put trust on would ever came out to this, would you??!! as you've learned by now that i'm rather skilled at hiding my feelings. you see the things with feelings is that they have their quiet way of sneaking up on you when you're least expect it.
who knows off all that i know bout her, the one i delivered my guard down delivers the knock out punch. IRONIC!!!!
despite my best efforts, m beginning to feel small cracks when i saw her yesterday.
you know when i look back from all the beautiful women i've known.. i cant help thinkin bout... all that they've done for me.... and what i hve done for them... how they looked after me...cared for me...
so really... wot have i got... really, some money in my pocket?? some nice threads?? fancy ride?? which totally not there... and i'm single..yeah unattached... free as a bird.
but i dont have a piece of mind. and if u dont have that.. u dont have nothin. so..wot's the answer i keep askin my self. WOT'S IT ALL ABOUT...